I honestly thought she might burst. Her face turned a crimson red and a scream rang from that little body that made dogs howl in faraway towns.

Nothing her mother could do would stop this grocery store meltdown. The reason? She was denied Cocoa Puffs. She had literally gone “coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs.”

It got me thinking (once I could think again…can one develop PTSD after witnessing such a fit?), what can parents effectively do to stop a child in the middle of a tantrum, other than breaking down and buying her the world’s most tooth-decaying cereal?

I came across some basic advice dedicated to saving eardrums in the future:

• Ignore it: If you can, try walking away, making sure that your child is safe first. Stay nearby, but make sure it’s clear by your actions that her display has no effect on you. Don’t make eye contact and don’t talk to her. When she sees that she’s not getting a reaction, she’ll probably stop.

• Diffuse it: If you don’t have the stomach to be passive, there are some techniques you can try. Soothe your child by rubbing her back and talk to her in low, quiet tones. Some parents find repeating the same phrase over and over again like, “You’re OK,” or “It’s alright” or singing a quiet song or nursery rhyme seems to work. You can also try injecting a little humor into the situation by telling a silly joke or making a funny face.

The author also reminds parents to remove the child from a public situation (oh yes, please!). By doing this, you regulate the atmosphere, which can bring calmness to the situation more quickly.

Kids are also easily distracted. The next time your little loved one is in meltdown mode, show him or her one of our birthday ecards for kids. They’re loaded with fun, colorful images aimed to bring a smile to any child’s face.

Here's a Lemur getting a mouth full of cake frosting, one of the silly scenes that make kids giggle (and forget to scream) from our "Lemurs Birthday Cake" ecard.

Here’s a link to the advice which I found: http://preschoolers.about.com/od/behaviordiscipline/a/Tempertantrums.htm

She won’t talk to you anymore. Done. Through. Kaput. Yet you keep trying, determined to win her back, you silly fool. Thing is, the harder you try, the farther she goes.

“You should have tried this hard when we were together,” she screeches, as she tosses roses at your feet and slams the door, where you remain for the next 43 very long minutes. Crickets chirp.

What’s a bloke to do? If you keep trying, there are these little things called restraining orders that can definitely put a crimp in your plans. And just cost a lot of money. (Though I know a really good lawyer, if you’re looking.)

First, back off. For a good, long time. Emotions run high after a break-up and it’s not time to go for a swim in the volcano. Respect her need for space. And her right hook.

And take some of your own, why don’t you? I mean, seriously, you could stand for some new clothes, a haircut and a night on the town with some friends. Pay a few visits to the gym. Get in touch with your primal side by eating cold spaghetti with your hands.

Once you feel less like a big old loser, then you can reach out. But beware. Texting can be deadly. So don’t do that. And email…sheesh, that’s pretty impersonal.

But an ecard…now you’re on to something. Let’s say she has a birthday coming up. Free birthday ecards are a creative, fun way to break the ice. It shows you care and respect her need for distance too. Win/win.

And if you choose just the right one, who knows…you could win her back. No promises. But you could. Then send us a free thank you ecard.

Here's a Romeo at the door with a lot more success! Sending a Birthday card to her is Definitely the way to go.

April called me this morning. She said she had a good birthday yesterday because she followed “The Plan.” After years of knowing her, I know her “plan” quite well. That’s why we didn’t even talk on her actual birthday, but the day after instead.

“The Plan” goes a little something like this:

•  Disconnect. The people you love will probably be around you anyway, so do you really need to entertain a bunch of calls where people feel obligated to make birthday small talk? No, just don’t answer the phone. A phone free day. You can follow up the next day. Avoid the computer too. A million happy birthdays Facebook posts makes you feel about as warm and cuddly as a computer chip.

• Keep the plans simple. Elaborate parties are a sure-fire way to get your hopes up only to burn out as quickly as cake candles. Some people feel nostalgic on their birthdays. A big shebang can make you feel disconnected and desolate. Why do you think “It’s My Party, I can Cry if I Want to?” was written?

• But make some plans. April was so wary of making plans on her birthday because of Reason Number 2 that it backfired on her one year. She did nothing. Zilch. Crickets chirped, tumbleweed rolled. This year, she wanted to try paddleboarding and so went to her local lake and took a lesson. Then she had lunch with a couple of good friends. Her husband cooked her dinner and she watched her favorite old movie that night. Simple, manageable and fun.

So what are your foolproof birthday plans? Send them our way!

And while April doesn’t check her computer on her birthday, a loved one of yours might. Send one of our funny birthday ecards  to start the day off right.

Chest the Chipmunk's birthday plans go very awry all of a sudden. Can't imagine why.

Here’s the video to Leslie Gore’s classic “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4