We recently came across these facts in a blog post about fathers and daughters:

In an analysis of nearly 100 studies on parent-child relationships, love from a father was as important as mother love in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults:

•  Withdrawal of love by either the father or the mother was equally influential in predicting a child’s emotional instability, lack of self-esteem, depression, social withdrawal, and level of aggression.

•  In some studies, father love was actually a better predictor than mother love for certain outcomes, including delinquency and conduct problems, substance abuse, and overall mental health and well-being.

• Girls without fathers are almost 40% more likely to abuse drugs.

• A Partnership for a Drug-Free America study reveals 63% of fathers said they frequently talked with their children about how drugs can mess up their lives, compared to 81% of mothers.

• Nearly half of all dads (47%) are looking to spend more time with their teens, compared to 38% of mothers who say they need more time.

• Even when fathers do not live at home, children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to have fewer behavioral problems.

It got us thinking about the importance of a strong, loving father in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. For those of us for whom our father was absent, we can try to make up for losses in some imaginative ways.

You’ve heard about your “inner child” right? What if you created the perfect “inner father”?

“Draw” your perfect father. Instead of longing for something you don’t have, envision what you’d like to have in your father. How would he be involved in his daughter’s life? Would he have heart-to-heart talks with you by the fireside or take you to the baseball game? Would he be funny and easygoing or stern and instructive?

Once you get that perfect picture in your head, internalize him. Your inner father could offer his opinion on this guy you started dating or a car you want to purchase. You could imagine him stepping up to the plate when you needed him in times past. He could offer that big bear hug just when you need it. Let your inner father show up for you now!

Moms, it’s never too late to have a talk with your daughter about the ways in which Dad could have showed up, if he were around. Ask her when she needed him and when missed him most. It’s healing for all parties.

For the thankfully rare instance when a fathers knows ahead of time he will not be around in his daughters’ future, there are creative solutions. At the bottom of this blog there is a video link to one stunning example of a dad, Bruce Feiler, planning ahead for the fathering of his daughters after he dies early from cancer.

No, we can’t design our parents, but we can design our imagination, which is a very powerful tool.

For the real dads and moms out there, we have a line of free birthday e-cards for daughters, bound to make her feel extra special.

[Bruce Feiler’s talk on how he planned fathering for his daughters after he is gone: http://www.ted.com/talks/bruce_feiler_the_council_of_dads.html]

The Singing Pink Hippos in Paradise, one of the most popular birthday ecards for daughter

Ladies, if you have a son, you’ve undoubtedly done your best to instill in him good manners. If you have a husband, hopefully he’s already got them down already! (If you’re a man, read on…you just might learn something.)

The manners of yesteryear may sound stuffy and silly, but in today’s world, we’ve seen even the most basic forms of etiquette fall by the wayside. Most women will agree: one sure way to impress is by practicing good manners. It’s always appreciated and always noted.

Here are some customs that could stand to be revisited, at least to a degree.

Punctuality. Back in the day, there wasn’t such a thing as being fashionably late. You were just plain old late…and that was plain old rude. Being on time shows a sense of conscientiousness for all parties involved. (This also includes leaving at a proper hour and not overstaying your welcome. You know who you are!)

Holding the Door. Call me crazy, but this one has never gone out of vogue. Back in the day, gentlemen opened the car door for ladies in addition to a door to a house or an establishment. It’s a kind gesture that implies concern for the lady’s safety. (FYI – This does not mean walking in first and holding the door while talking on your cell phone!)

Proper Dress for Proper Occasions. (Guys, take off the baseball cap and that old t-shirt off before you read this.) Clothes do matter. Now, this doesn’t mean you need Christian Dior’s latest seasonal line hanging in your closet. It does mean that if you are going out to dinner or to a show, you should dress up, dress nicely, dress appropriately.

Back in the day, men dressed up for all sorts of occasions: travel, sporting events, business meetings, house guest visitations. As the sage rock band ZZ Top so aptly put it, “Nothing looks better than a sharp dressed man.” If you ask most women, they’ll readily concur.

Money Matters. Back in the day, it was ill-mannered to speak openly about financial issues. While that has certainly changed over the decades, we could all stand to watch our tongue in certain settings. If you’re going out to eat, for example, certain topics of conversations may not be suited (“This hangnail is driving me crazy. I can’t wait to get home and clip it. Will you do it for me?”)

Times have changed, this is for sure. But old school etiquette still contains courteous aspects that we could benefit from in our hurried “me-centered” world. It starts at home, of course. Parents instill in their children manners throughout their lives, layer upon layer. Let’s not give it up. Let’s continue to create an etiquette system that works in our new world and pass it on! At least for the sake of our daughters, let’s raise up some real gentlemen!

If you’re son has a birthday coming up, peruse our selection of free birthday ecards for sons. It’s a well-mannered way to say I care.

 

Now HERE's what a real gentleman looks like!

We’ve all encountered this scene: a child is presented with an elaborate present only to be more entertained with the packaging it came in. Or a child makes a “sleigh” out of a cardboard box. And mud pies aren’t known for their flashy price tag.

In short, it doesn’t take much to make a kid happy. Often we project our own needs to have lots of “stuff” by buying excessive amounts of toys and gadgets. Not only does that teach our child a certain level of “stuff gluttony” but isn’t ecologically aware (more plastic anyone?).

So here’s a quick look at some free ways to keep your kids happy. (If you have some of your own cheap and easy suggestions, send them our way!)

1. Park Play. Most of us have parks and public places that are ready and awaiting your kids at play. Not only do they get a chance to discharge excess energy in a wide-open space but also it also fosters an appreciation for the outdoors. Bring a Frisbee, a football or a kite.

2. Love your Libraries. Your local library could always stand some love and attention. Teach your children the rules of a library first (be quiet, no running around, etc.) then note the many wonders that wait among the bookshelves. Most libraries have an area especially dedicated to children who want to play and learn.

3. Rainy Day Recreation. Rainy days can be taxing on parents. Children become frustrated after being pent-up indoors for too long. Dress your children accordingly and get out there! Rain is fun for kids (and Gene Kelly. See video below). Again, it teaches them appreciate weather in all forms, not just a sunny day.

4. Walks of Wonder. Walking is a simple but effective way for a child to spend quality time with you and explore your community. (Community awareness is a key element to the safety of your child as well.) Walking is also a gentle aerobic exercise, which keeps you and your kids healthy.

 Again, the biggest toy a child has is his or her imagination. The biggest gift you can give your kid is your time. During an economically difficult time, it feels genuinely rewarding to get back to the basics anyway, doesn’t it?

Does your child have a birthday coming up? We have an imaginative line of free birthday e-cards for kids. Save on paper and entertain your child with fun, animated e-cards, especially tailored especially for a child’s wide-open mind!

 [Singing in the Rain video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ]

Doozy Cards' fun Ribbit Birthday with happy singing frogs. Kids love singing frogs, right?

 

Did you know that celebrating birthdays is fairly new? Way back when (as in “Middle Ages” when) they’d simply say, “So and so was born at the end of May or the beginning of June.” Not much for specificity, though you could probably celebrate your birthday for months!

The earliest known recorded birthday of a king was Henry II who was born on 5 March 1133. This makes him a Pisces, imaginative and sensitive, compassionate and kind. And with a great desire to take over France and eat mutton chops.

Happy Belated Birthday, King Henry!

Apparently, even when birthdays of kings and queens were recorded, they were kept secret, lest your astrology-friendly enemy know your weaknesses as well as your future.

Birthday parties originated as a form of spiritual protection. It was once thought that good and evil spirits appeared when a child was born and could influence that child for life. So celebrations were held to ward off the evil spirits and call in the good ones.

People also felt that change was not necessarily a good thing. And since a birthday marked a significant change, families and friends took whatever measures possible to banish the evil spirits by celebrating the spirits away. Apparently, presents given earlier in the day offered the greatest protection. A nice reason to give your gift in the a.m.!

England was the birthplace of birthday cards, over 100 years ago.

And today, we still continue the tradition of sending birthday cards, including animated birthday ecards. Doozycards.com has a massive collection of funny birthday ecards, musical birthday ecards and a whole lot more enticing birthday ecards you can send first thing in the morning to protect your love one from any early morning evil spirits.

Source: http://teacherlink.ed.usu.edu/tlresources/units/byrnes-celebrations/birthday.html