She won’t talk to you anymore. Done. Through. Kaput. Yet you keep trying, determined to win her back, you silly fool. Thing is, the harder you try, the farther she goes.

“You should have tried this hard when we were together,” she screeches, as she tosses roses at your feet and slams the door, where you remain for the next 43 very long minutes. Crickets chirp.

What’s a bloke to do? If you keep trying, there are these little things called restraining orders that can definitely put a crimp in your plans. And just cost a lot of money. (Though I know a really good lawyer, if you’re looking.)

First, back off. For a good, long time. Emotions run high after a break-up and it’s not time to go for a swim in the volcano. Respect her need for space. And her right hook.

And take some of your own, why don’t you? I mean, seriously, you could stand for some new clothes, a haircut and a night on the town with some friends. Pay a few visits to the gym. Get in touch with your primal side by eating cold spaghetti with your hands.

Once you feel less like a big old loser, then you can reach out. But beware. Texting can be deadly. So don’t do that. And email…sheesh, that’s pretty impersonal.

But an ecard…now you’re on to something. Let’s say she has a birthday coming up. Free birthday ecards are a creative, fun way to break the ice. It shows you care and respect her need for distance too. Win/win.

And if you choose just the right one, who knows…you could win her back. No promises. But you could. Then send us a free thank you ecard.

Here's a Romeo at the door with a lot more success! Sending a Birthday card to her is Definitely the way to go.

April called me this morning. She said she had a good birthday yesterday because she followed “The Plan.” After years of knowing her, I know her “plan” quite well. That’s why we didn’t even talk on her actual birthday, but the day after instead.

“The Plan” goes a little something like this:

•  Disconnect. The people you love will probably be around you anyway, so do you really need to entertain a bunch of calls where people feel obligated to make birthday small talk? No, just don’t answer the phone. A phone free day. You can follow up the next day. Avoid the computer too. A million happy birthdays Facebook posts makes you feel about as warm and cuddly as a computer chip.

• Keep the plans simple. Elaborate parties are a sure-fire way to get your hopes up only to burn out as quickly as cake candles. Some people feel nostalgic on their birthdays. A big shebang can make you feel disconnected and desolate. Why do you think “It’s My Party, I can Cry if I Want to?” was written?

• But make some plans. April was so wary of making plans on her birthday because of Reason Number 2 that it backfired on her one year. She did nothing. Zilch. Crickets chirped, tumbleweed rolled. This year, she wanted to try paddleboarding and so went to her local lake and took a lesson. Then she had lunch with a couple of good friends. Her husband cooked her dinner and she watched her favorite old movie that night. Simple, manageable and fun.

So what are your foolproof birthday plans? Send them our way!

And while April doesn’t check her computer on her birthday, a loved one of yours might. Send one of our funny birthday ecards  to start the day off right.

Chest the Chipmunk's birthday plans go very awry all of a sudden. Can't imagine why.

Here’s the video to Leslie Gore’s classic “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4

We recently came across these facts in a blog post about fathers and daughters:

In an analysis of nearly 100 studies on parent-child relationships, love from a father was as important as mother love in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults:

•  Withdrawal of love by either the father or the mother was equally influential in predicting a child’s emotional instability, lack of self-esteem, depression, social withdrawal, and level of aggression.

•  In some studies, father love was actually a better predictor than mother love for certain outcomes, including delinquency and conduct problems, substance abuse, and overall mental health and well-being.

• Girls without fathers are almost 40% more likely to abuse drugs.

• A Partnership for a Drug-Free America study reveals 63% of fathers said they frequently talked with their children about how drugs can mess up their lives, compared to 81% of mothers.

• Nearly half of all dads (47%) are looking to spend more time with their teens, compared to 38% of mothers who say they need more time.

• Even when fathers do not live at home, children whose fathers are actively involved in their lives tend to have fewer behavioral problems.

It got us thinking about the importance of a strong, loving father in a woman’s life. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. For those of us for whom our father was absent, we can try to make up for losses in some imaginative ways.

You’ve heard about your “inner child” right? What if you created the perfect “inner father”?

“Draw” your perfect father. Instead of longing for something you don’t have, envision what you’d like to have in your father. How would he be involved in his daughter’s life? Would he have heart-to-heart talks with you by the fireside or take you to the baseball game? Would he be funny and easygoing or stern and instructive?

Once you get that perfect picture in your head, internalize him. Your inner father could offer his opinion on this guy you started dating or a car you want to purchase. You could imagine him stepping up to the plate when you needed him in times past. He could offer that big bear hug just when you need it. Let your inner father show up for you now!

Moms, it’s never too late to have a talk with your daughter about the ways in which Dad could have showed up, if he were around. Ask her when she needed him and when missed him most. It’s healing for all parties.

For the thankfully rare instance when a fathers knows ahead of time he will not be around in his daughters’ future, there are creative solutions. At the bottom of this blog there is a video link to one stunning example of a dad, Bruce Feiler, planning ahead for the fathering of his daughters after he dies early from cancer.

No, we can’t design our parents, but we can design our imagination, which is a very powerful tool.

For the real dads and moms out there, we have a line of free birthday e-cards for daughters, bound to make her feel extra special.

[Bruce Feiler’s talk on how he planned fathering for his daughters after he is gone: http://www.ted.com/talks/bruce_feiler_the_council_of_dads.html]

The Singing Pink Hippos in Paradise, one of the most popular birthday ecards for daughter

Ladies, if you have a son, you’ve undoubtedly done your best to instill in him good manners. If you have a husband, hopefully he’s already got them down already! (If you’re a man, read on…you just might learn something.)

The manners of yesteryear may sound stuffy and silly, but in today’s world, we’ve seen even the most basic forms of etiquette fall by the wayside. Most women will agree: one sure way to impress is by practicing good manners. It’s always appreciated and always noted.

Here are some customs that could stand to be revisited, at least to a degree.

Punctuality. Back in the day, there wasn’t such a thing as being fashionably late. You were just plain old late…and that was plain old rude. Being on time shows a sense of conscientiousness for all parties involved. (This also includes leaving at a proper hour and not overstaying your welcome. You know who you are!)

Holding the Door. Call me crazy, but this one has never gone out of vogue. Back in the day, gentlemen opened the car door for ladies in addition to a door to a house or an establishment. It’s a kind gesture that implies concern for the lady’s safety. (FYI – This does not mean walking in first and holding the door while talking on your cell phone!)

Proper Dress for Proper Occasions. (Guys, take off the baseball cap and that old t-shirt off before you read this.) Clothes do matter. Now, this doesn’t mean you need Christian Dior’s latest seasonal line hanging in your closet. It does mean that if you are going out to dinner or to a show, you should dress up, dress nicely, dress appropriately.

Back in the day, men dressed up for all sorts of occasions: travel, sporting events, business meetings, house guest visitations. As the sage rock band ZZ Top so aptly put it, “Nothing looks better than a sharp dressed man.” If you ask most women, they’ll readily concur.

Money Matters. Back in the day, it was ill-mannered to speak openly about financial issues. While that has certainly changed over the decades, we could all stand to watch our tongue in certain settings. If you’re going out to eat, for example, certain topics of conversations may not be suited (“This hangnail is driving me crazy. I can’t wait to get home and clip it. Will you do it for me?”)

Times have changed, this is for sure. But old school etiquette still contains courteous aspects that we could benefit from in our hurried “me-centered” world. It starts at home, of course. Parents instill in their children manners throughout their lives, layer upon layer. Let’s not give it up. Let’s continue to create an etiquette system that works in our new world and pass it on! At least for the sake of our daughters, let’s raise up some real gentlemen!

If you’re son has a birthday coming up, peruse our selection of free birthday ecards for sons. It’s a well-mannered way to say I care.

 

Now HERE's what a real gentleman looks like!