Here at the Doozy headquarters, we are polishing your Father’s Day ecards vigorously for this Sunday. We are aware that some people still use that antiquated technology to reach their fathers on the big day: the telephone. Then we heard something about telephones and Father’s Day that we thought just had to be an urban myth of some sort…but alas, it’s true:

More collect phone calls are made on Father’s Day than on any other day of the year.

Oh poor Dad…why?

According to Snopes:

Dr. Brenda Wall, a family psychologist in Dallas, Texas, postulates, “We have a different sociological response to our parents that is gender and role-related. We’ve always looked to mom for love and nurturing. But when we look to dad, it’s usually a business transaction or something that relates to power, positioning, or money.”

We tried to think of a few possible collect call scenarios:

“This is a collect call from John Smith to John Smith, Sr. Will you accept the charges?”

“Yes.”

“Dad. Hi. Just wanted to wish you a Happy Father’s Day. I was going to buy you a nice gift, I swear. But the strangest thing happened. I saw this nun crying by the side of the road. I pulled over to see if I could help. Apparently her convent had burned down last night and she had nowhere to live! What was I to do? I put her up in a hotel (along with her kitten, St. Fuzzy) and now I’m flat broke until my next paycheck. Anyway, Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”

Or maybe:

“This is a collect call from John Smith to John Smith, Sr. Will you accept the charges?”

“Yes.”

“Dad. Hi. Just wanted to wish you a Happy Father’s Day. I was going to buy you a nice gift, I swear. But the strangest thing happened. My money disappeared. I mean, right before my very eyes. I went to this magic show and the magician asked me for my wallet. He did this abracadabra thing and boom! My wallet was gone. Conveniently he did his disappearing act right after that. Obviously a shyster of some sort. Anyway, Happy Father’s Day, Dad.”

We’d suggest that instead of having dad foot the bill this Father’s Day, you send  free Father’s Day e-cards. We have a wide array of funny Father’s Day ecards at your disposal. No awkward excuses necessary.

(St. Fuzzy…really?)

Family photo of St. Fuzzy & Father.