We received this from a customer. Hilarious!
If you liked laughing over this, try some from our Funny eCards category!
How They Deal With Winter in Illinois
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Author Archives: Chandler
How to Mess Up your Valentine’s Day Royally
Morris, from one of our Anti-Valentine’s Day ecards
This one is dedicated to all of the men out there who are trying to break free from a pesky relationship…or those who just want to play a good (albeit risky) joke on that significant other of yours. Follow these steps on Valentine’s Day and you’re guaranteed to lose that ol’ ball and chain” for good!
- Wax nostalgic about glorious Valentine’s Days of your past, look wistful, and sigh a lot.
- Tell her red is definitely not her color.
- Take her to a local McDonald’s and say, “Let’s keep it simple this year, shall we?”
- Talk about your mother excessively.
- Talk about her mother excessively.
- Bring home February’s issue of Playboy with a big grin on your face and head to the bathroom. Stay in there for most of the evening.
- Give her a membership to Weight Watchers.
- Put “Love Stinks” on repeat play.
- Talk endlessly about your irritable bowel syndrome.
- Burp-sing her favorite love song.
- When she goes in for a hug, stick out your hand.
- Tell her the toilet bowl really needs a good scrubbing. Hand her the Ajax and a brush.
- Whisper “you’re a sweet nothing” in her ear.
- Explain how you have a “hankering to hang out with the guys tonight.”
- On your Facebook page, to which she is linked, post pictures of you and “the guys” in a well known gay bar…. shirtless…… and slow dancing.
- mock her ankles.
Okay, seriously…don NOT do any of these things if you value your relationship. Even if you don’t, ignore the above anyway, for your own health and well being as well as hers! (Ladies, now you know the game and may prepare your counter strategies). Instead of all this, start the day off right and set the tone of love and affection with free Valentine’s Day ecards.
The sky’s the limit from there…and no toasters either.
What’s So Wrong with Mommy Dearest?
That’s what my mom asked me, after we watched the movie many years ago. She didn’t think Joan Crawford (played to perfection by Faye Dunaway) seemed all that bad.
According to my mom:
“I don’t think her daughter had it that bad. Her mom provided her with an incredible life and loved her in own way. She was under an enormous amount of pressure and did the best she could. Listen, all mothers can seem like Mommy Dearest in the eyes of a child.”
Oh, my mom, sticking up for mean mothers everywhere. But maybe she has a point, albeit indirectly. Moms wield a tremendous amount of power in our life, especially early on. In our eyes, they can be seen as monsters, holding us back, punishing us for no reason and hindering our desires to explore the world.
Dads are often seen as the knight in shining armor, saving us from this horrible woman. He says kind things, while Mommy Dearest says mean things. He gives us gifts while Mommy Dearest takes them away. Of course, as adults, we know that often mothers have the not-so-fun role of running a household and keeping everyone in line.
Who knows how Joan Crawford really was as a mother? (Other than she and her children.) And who are we to judge really? Don’t get me wrong: she seemed a bit…bent. But let us not forget that the perception issue of a child can be a bit skewed as well, including our own.
If your mom has a birthday coming up, check out our wonderful selection of birthday ecards for moms.
And remember: no wire hangers…ever.
Daily Doozy – The Mayan Thing
Here’s our latest Daily Doozy, a spot of mirth in the face of Current Events. We hope you enjoy enough to survive the day!
Chocolate Humor – Christmas is making us feel silly!
We’ve tumbled headlong into the Spirit of the Holiday! I gave our Marketing Director, Jonas, a box of those chocolate covered liqueur cherries. He gave one to our Creative Director, Bennett, who is, in his own words, a teetotaler and a lightweight. Well the one he had this morning put him in a very creative mood and he got us all joining in the fun. You see the results below!
WE want you to know, this is the same set of fertile imaginations that write, design and animate our funny Christmas cards as well. Now you know!