Our brand new “Naughty Christmas Trees” eCard, intended to assist your Yuletide flirtations.

Do you remember the 70’s television portrayals of the holidays? A couple sitting beside a roaring fire, a Christmas tree blinking suggestively in the background, and a bearskin rug would lie by the hearth, waiting patiently for some action. The holidays seemed like a prime time to get your groove on!

Now, mass consumerism and technology overload seem to have sucked the cheeky cheer right out of the frosty air. So here are a few helpful tips to bring the hot, hot, hot back into your holidays:

1. Slow it down at night. The winter has some mighty long nights. Make the most out of it by tuning out the daytime shopping, wrapping, etc. and replace it with some quality time with your honey.
2. Physical gifts are always welcome. We won’t get too explicit here but create a card offering a special one-on-one gift, redeemed on the bear rug of your choice.
3. Create a cozy atmosphere. Atmosphere does most of the work for you. If you don’t have a fireplace to roar, then try soft, fuzzy pillows and blankets tossed about and candles burning in the background. How about some non-annoying holiday music? Set the scene and let the magic happen.

Doozy Cards has a wide range of romantic Christmas e-cards for that special someone in your life. It’s free and easy, just like love should be.

Here are all of our slightly suggestive adult Christmas ecards to get the party for two rolling.

“Christmas is not properly observed unless you brew egg nogg for all comers; everybody calls on everybody else; and each call is celebrated by a solemn egg-nogging…It is made cold and is drunk cold and is to be commended.”

– Unknown Englishman, 1866

Egg nog. It sounds weird but tastes delicious. Recipes may vary but it’s a consistent holiday favorite. So what is this creamy goodness? And what the heck is a “nog” anyway?

In colonial America, rum was often referred to

as “grog” so
Another possible source? Noggins were the English term used for small wooden mugs used to serve alcohol. “egg and grog” may have slowly morphed into “egg nog.” (If you’ve consumed several of them, you can see how the words might slur together.)

Either way, it’s been around a long time and generally contains a combination of the following ingredients:

Milk or cream, sugar, raw eggs, spices (usually nutmeg). Other toppings include vanilla, whipped cream, meringue, cinnamon, ice cream and chocolate curls.

Most popular alcohol for egg nog? Rum, bourbon or brandy. In Europe, nog is traditionally made with white wine. In Germany, beer…bleh.

Below is the URL to one egg nog recipe that consistently gets rave reviews from Ms. Martha Stewart as well as a non-alcoholic egg nog recipe you’ll enjoy.

We have a wide and wondrous selection of free and funny Christmas ecards to peruse over while sipping the nog. Get your free Christmas ecards out now. We assure you, they are equally as entertaining no mater which variety of nog is in your noggin.

Martha Stewart’s recipe:  http://www.food.com/recipe/martha-stewarts-eggnog-148066

The non-alcoholic recipe: http://homecooking.about.com/od/beveragerecipes/r/blbev17.htm

The holidays can be a notoriously depressing time for some folks. Especially if you’re alone. It’s unfortunate because being alone can mean creating a holiday of your own making, just the way you want it.

Here are some tips:

Be your own family. What if, deep inside of you, resided the best family members ever? How would they treat you? What would your imaginary family do during the holidays? Write about it, like a perfect holiday fairy tale, and then live it out to the best of your abilities, knowing those “family members” reside within. (Plus, buying gifts for imaginary family members is really cheap.)

Avoid dysfunctional families. Undoubtedly, if you’re alone, you will be invited to the homes of others for the holidays. Think twice before accepting. While your own family may make you nuts, other families possess their own crazy-making neuroses. Free yourself by just saying no, confident that alone is better than nutty.

Keep it simple. One of the reasons people experience so much stress during the holidays is an incessant need to pack it all in on one day. But a simplified holiday allows you reflection and relaxation. Note: this doesn’t mean being completely inactive; it just means making simple plans, like a long walk through the woods or reading a book or making your favorite meal.

Spending the holidays alone doesn’t have to be depressing; it can be liberating. Because only you know the best way to spend the day.

Remember to send your friends and family a free Christmas e-card. We have a large selection, including many funny Christmas e-cards sure to bring smiles to the faces of those you love.

Fruitcake, normally a Christmas Horror, here a Christmas Hilarity!

Admit it. The holidays can be as scary as the most frightening Halloween. Whether it’s a long sit-down dinner with your dysfunctional family or waiting in endless lines with crying babies, holidays can bring out the worst in us.

Below are some of the horrors of the holidays.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Fruitcake. Nobody knows who invented this so-called “dessert” but the madness must end. Remember: always be suspicious of desserts that never decompose. (note: our Creative Director, Bennett CRAVES the fruity brick and every year BEGS Chris in Customer Support for one because Chris’s Mom makes them from scratch. It’s a sordid drama to watch for the rest of us)

The Holiday Sweater. It’s full of snowflakes, wintery landscapes, Santa faces…and just plain bad taste.

Christmas Lights. Many have been sent to special padded rooms after trying to get Christmas lights detangled, lit and hung properly. We pay a serious mental price for such luminous beauty.

Christmas Carols. Okay, there are a few holiday tunes that are bearable, but the newer ones are aural insults. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer? Jingle Bells? Come on. These plodding tunes make Happy Birthday sound like complex orchestration.

Christmas Parades. You can only do so much with the concept of a float. Even children are yawning by the end.

Inflatable Christmas Lawn Ornaments. When did these become popular and why? (Maybe the Christmas lights were too crazy-making. But ouch…what a lawn eyesore.)

One way to have a horror-free Christmas? Avoid the lines and make it as virtual as possible! Send a loved one a funny Christmas ecard. It’s simple, easy and fruitcake free (sorry, Bennett)!